The Story of My Awakening & The Calling which Took Hold After:
It's crazy how we can deny the very things in us, that makes us the unique and original expression we set out to come here and be...while accepting our own selves is the answer which will set us free and put a stop to much needless suffering or depressions.
For me, I've always been fascinated by the idea of intelligent life out in space and the possible relationships that other life forms could have played in the origins of Humans. To put it simply, I have always believed in Aliens and never really thought it was even debatable on the existence of these intelligent beings nor their evident visitations recorded all over the world throughout human history.
That being said, two years ago if someone were to comment on my interests in the existence of Intelligent Life out there ; I would have made it out to be more of a joke than anything that would give rise to me speaking out publicly about the matter. But when I turned 30, a series of events began to unfold and the evidence of first hand experiences and real life visitations from intelligent beings not of this world. Their appearance in my life had immediately sparked my soul's journey into what we would call a Spiritual Awakening Process. The introductions of these intelligent life forms, I would classify as being my Guardian Angels before any other sci-fi based label we have to use. Although these Guardian Angels were always looking a lot like the Aliens of our Hollywood movies - tall, slender, big eyes, skinny long fingers, and the emotionless stare which had kept me sleeping with the lights on for quite a while there at the beginning. And it wasn't so much the features or image which would shake me to my core; but rather their ability to completely control the conscious mind, the physical body, the energetic body (or soul), as well as slip in and out of the physical realm with ease and complete control. If they didn't want me seeing them, I wouldn't be able to see them or they would catch me trying to fix my vision to adjust into a range that I could see their figures for longer than a split second - and sometimes that would initiate me going into a state of peaceful paralysis - which I now welcome the idea of being gifted those moments of peace and absolute stillness in the mind. It's a rarity as humans to have complete presence and absence of any fear, worry, or thought which takes up the space and energy most all waking hours we are alive. So, now I have caught myself praying in recent weeks for that experience to take place again - or at the next necessary juncture. When you feel the complete peace that comes with being thoughtless, emotionless, and fearless - complete neutrality; you would grow to love it as well.
One of the many gifts I've been blessed with experiencing first hand; allowing me a greater awareness to the consciousness which is ever present in our individual being, and the entirety of the perceived Universe / outer world. The experiences I refer to now as blessings and gifts, were at one point the crux to my nightmare living hell which was created initially. All responsibility falling upon me, which I openly accept full charge for making the experiences anything fearful, dark, or scary - anytime I made a situation something other than neutrality; then I was imbalanced. And there's no one to blame or no foe to call enemy.
Yet, these experiences came at one very distinct cost - which again was brought on by my own conscious thoughts that produce fears and worries of judgements. The cost I speak of is that I, myself (old self) had died. I will gladly cash out my check at the end of each day if it means that I'm fully living my life and continuing to feel fulfilled each and every day. The cost of that death bringing me to a place of trusting faith in the Creator's divine hand guiding the life I live and looking over all my steps taken and upcoming forks in the road. For I am now fortunate enough to have the evidence which allowed me to get the necessary 'see it to believe it' attitude from rearing it's pessimistic head any longer.
The painful death which I had tried my damndest to outrun, ultimately freed me from the prison which I had constructed in my world view from inside my mind as I had always felt the need to pretend to be someone I'm not. And in this case, hiding the experiences which carry great gifts and blessings into my life, as I surrendered to the fear of being labeled or judged under the false-guise of mental health stigmas affiliated with some of the experiences which I most certainly walked through. Often displaying the true characteristics which give definition to the terms / labels used by the mental health psychiatrists - for I will not deny my portraying of symptoms and experiences which are also labeled as, 'psychosis' and I was constantly seeing things that other people couldn't see; which by definition is a 'hallucination". But to be quite frank, and absolutely authentic for this biography - I still experience the hallucinations today. But now I have an understanding which gives the reasons for why they occur, for instance, much of what I will be shown is for the sake of healing. Healing an upcoming client, or even for my own inner personal healing. But at the beginning, I had no grasp on the meaning behind any of what was going on and I was unknowingly putting intention and conscious power into the fears which my mind would rally up as possible reasons or meanings for why this was happening or what I was seeing.
It's crazy how we can deny the very things in us, that makes us the unique and original expression we set out to come here and be...while accepting our own selves is the answer which will set us free and put a stop to much needless suffering or depressions.
For me, I've always been fascinated by the idea of intelligent life out in space and the possible relationships that other life forms could have played in the origins of Humans. To put it simply, I have always believed in Aliens and never really thought it was even debatable on the existence of these intelligent beings nor their evident visitations recorded all over the world throughout human history.
That being said, two years ago if someone were to comment on my interests in the existence of Intelligent Life out there ; I would have made it out to be more of a joke than anything that would give rise to me speaking out publicly about the matter. But when I turned 30, a series of events began to unfold and the evidence of first hand experiences and real life visitations from intelligent beings not of this world. Their appearance in my life had immediately sparked my soul's journey into what we would call a Spiritual Awakening Process. The introductions of these intelligent life forms, I would classify as being my Guardian Angels before any other sci-fi based label we have to use. Although these Guardian Angels were always looking a lot like the Aliens of our Hollywood movies - tall, slender, big eyes, skinny long fingers, and the emotionless stare which had kept me sleeping with the lights on for quite a while there at the beginning. And it wasn't so much the features or image which would shake me to my core; but rather their ability to completely control the conscious mind, the physical body, the energetic body (or soul), as well as slip in and out of the physical realm with ease and complete control. If they didn't want me seeing them, I wouldn't be able to see them or they would catch me trying to fix my vision to adjust into a range that I could see their figures for longer than a split second - and sometimes that would initiate me going into a state of peaceful paralysis - which I now welcome the idea of being gifted those moments of peace and absolute stillness in the mind. It's a rarity as humans to have complete presence and absence of any fear, worry, or thought which takes up the space and energy most all waking hours we are alive. So, now I have caught myself praying in recent weeks for that experience to take place again - or at the next necessary juncture. When you feel the complete peace that comes with being thoughtless, emotionless, and fearless - complete neutrality; you would grow to love it as well.
One of the many gifts I've been blessed with experiencing first hand; allowing me a greater awareness to the consciousness which is ever present in our individual being, and the entirety of the perceived Universe / outer world. The experiences I refer to now as blessings and gifts, were at one point the crux to my nightmare living hell which was created initially. All responsibility falling upon me, which I openly accept full charge for making the experiences anything fearful, dark, or scary - anytime I made a situation something other than neutrality; then I was imbalanced. And there's no one to blame or no foe to call enemy.
Yet, these experiences came at one very distinct cost - which again was brought on by my own conscious thoughts that produce fears and worries of judgements. The cost I speak of is that I, myself (old self) had died. I will gladly cash out my check at the end of each day if it means that I'm fully living my life and continuing to feel fulfilled each and every day. The cost of that death bringing me to a place of trusting faith in the Creator's divine hand guiding the life I live and looking over all my steps taken and upcoming forks in the road. For I am now fortunate enough to have the evidence which allowed me to get the necessary 'see it to believe it' attitude from rearing it's pessimistic head any longer.
The painful death which I had tried my damndest to outrun, ultimately freed me from the prison which I had constructed in my world view from inside my mind as I had always felt the need to pretend to be someone I'm not. And in this case, hiding the experiences which carry great gifts and blessings into my life, as I surrendered to the fear of being labeled or judged under the false-guise of mental health stigmas affiliated with some of the experiences which I most certainly walked through. Often displaying the true characteristics which give definition to the terms / labels used by the mental health psychiatrists - for I will not deny my portraying of symptoms and experiences which are also labeled as, 'psychosis' and I was constantly seeing things that other people couldn't see; which by definition is a 'hallucination". But to be quite frank, and absolutely authentic for this biography - I still experience the hallucinations today. But now I have an understanding which gives the reasons for why they occur, for instance, much of what I will be shown is for the sake of healing. Healing an upcoming client, or even for my own inner personal healing. But at the beginning, I had no grasp on the meaning behind any of what was going on and I was unknowingly putting intention and conscious power into the fears which my mind would rally up as possible reasons or meanings for why this was happening or what I was seeing.
I received the photo seen here within the first few weeks following my awakening. Something told me to look into my childhood, which I had trouble remembering up until this point - so I turned to Mom, asking her to send anything she could find which may connect to the current experiences I was having.
I made this when I was the ripe age of 6 years old. During the time when my exposure to anything condoning the existence of aliens like we see on the diagram below would have been scarce to non-existent to say the least. My parents were very strict and monitored my movies and music all the way up through middle school until 8th grade. My mom later found the story which I actually wrote from this story map; and the alien 'embasitor' was me! The character's name was Jim, and I drew myself as a human for the rest of the story.
The story was of Jim who is an Alien Ambassador, or as I mis-spelled the word "embasitor". Which if I must say so myself I am still impressed with the attempt I made there. Obviously I meant Ambassador, and that word would hint at quite the vocabulary for a 6 year old -- very peculiar and not accurate to how I was speaking at the time. I mean at that point, I still believed that the meat in Clam Chowder was Chicken, because my parents knew I wouldn't eat it if they said it was clams - so I thought it was chicken. For years. Until like, last year 2019... j/k - but just giving you contrast to my ability to come up with ambassador as word for my title.
About a month prior to my mom sending me that drawing - I had found a channeler who came highly recommended and given the state of terror I was in - his friend informed him of my experiences and asked if he could get me in sooner than two months out which was hit wait list at that time.
The story was of Jim who is an Alien Ambassador, or as I mis-spelled the word "embasitor". Which if I must say so myself I am still impressed with the attempt I made there. Obviously I meant Ambassador, and that word would hint at quite the vocabulary for a 6 year old -- very peculiar and not accurate to how I was speaking at the time. I mean at that point, I still believed that the meat in Clam Chowder was Chicken, because my parents knew I wouldn't eat it if they said it was clams - so I thought it was chicken. For years. Until like, last year 2019... j/k - but just giving you contrast to my ability to come up with ambassador as word for my title.
About a month prior to my mom sending me that drawing - I had found a channeler who came highly recommended and given the state of terror I was in - his friend informed him of my experiences and asked if he could get me in sooner than two months out which was hit wait list at that time.
The channeler was very helpful in providing me with some much needed comfort and assurance from what he was feeling about the whole Awakening. That being just it, it's a Spiritual Awakening and thus the process of death to be reborn; no one claims it is easy or going to possible to do without fears.
I was a skeptic on psychics, mediums, and channelers until working with this gentleman. I mean at that point in my life I didn't care how much I had to pay or what type of hoops I had to jump through - I just wanted to be able to communicate or gain understanding on what the conscious life forms which I could sometimes clearly see taking shape in my room. I just wanted to ask these guys, or girls, who I would best describe as translucent humanoid looking life forms. Like apparitions or someone out of a Hollywood movie who is cloaked invisible.
All I knew was these life forms which I could sometimes make out for a second or two - were without a doubt conscious, living beings/energies, who had a level of intelligence and technological capabilities which we must have no basis for comparison - and they seemed to be able to interact with not only me, but the whole of the environment; including time.
So I was being realistic, I did not expect to be able to completely cease the experiences, nor am I sure I would have wanted to anyway - as my feeling of this being a part of fulfilling my soul's purpose somehow. Even that first couple of days, it was already a strong feeling in my soul. In my heart of hearts, that this was all meant to be. Hence why I never went to seek psychiatric help or check myself in to an asylum - I always had a feeling which was strong enough to over ride my fears. And those fears were quite expansive and monstrous in those beginning stages of my Awakening. But that didn't change the fact I wanted to accomplish some type of communication to gain understanding on what it was I am dealing with.
Within the first couple sentences that he channeled for me, I was sold on the truth to the information coming through him. Because the information he spoke in regards of, were only known by me...me and the invisible new friends who were frequenting my room each night. So I was intrigued right off the bat, and allowed my skepticism to fall away so I could focus on the task at hand with 100% of my concentration; that being to get information from the energies that were working with me each night.
The being which came forth through the Channeler first, was named Atahr. He had an almost half-british accent which I noticed was something the Channeler did for many entities he would channel on his social media channels. I responded something short and quick like, "Atahr who? Are you the one that's working on me each night and in my house?!" He confirmed that much of the experiences which I took as not only scary but also malicious. Definitely not coming off as the work of Divine Spirit Guides - but still; I had that feeling urging me to trust the process and experiences which are to come.
Atahr went on to say that he is of planet Eshah (he even gave me general idea where it is in the galaxy). Atahr went on to explain to me, "You are Eshah's starseed on planet earth. You had chosen to come here and live this human experience. You also planned the experiences of this Spiritual Awakening Activation series of events. At this exact point in life and it's all part of the life-plan YOU had set out to experience." I was like that's just great that I can't remember it; I feel that it would have made for less fighting and running on my part - which slowed the process down quite substantially at times.
Atahr eventually said the words which I can still hear ringing in my memory as if I just heard the message channeled yesterday. I'll never forget Atahr slowly explaining, "Jim... you are the Ambassador for our race. You had planned on representing Eshah, and carry knowledge, ideas, beliefs, and messages from our world to the physical Earth as it nears the upcoming stages in conscious evolution as a planet and as a collective."
I remember not fully understanding the implications of the statement just spoke to me; but I do recall those chills through my spine and entire body as indicator of resonating to my soul's truth. Mind you; I have not seen the childhood drawing yet - that will come into my life weeks after this channeled message from Atahr. So he said another key word which I never looked up until months and months later when I met someone who said, "Oh! You're a Starseed like me! Cool, I haven't met many other people who have experienced these things too." And when she said Starseed, I was like what the heck does that mean - that's the same word this channeled message from a Spirit Guide had said I was. (You can go to the Starseed and Light Workers page for definitions) but I finally learned the meaning to Starseed and understood the characteristics which I have held throughout my entire life that align me into this community of people experiencing awakenings at the present time period.
In regards to the Ambassador conversation with Atahr and all that was laid upon me that day, I didn't know how to really digest it all but I knew for how far out the information was, it still had a complete ringing of truth to my heart when it was said. The truth was felt, but the understanding or memories of what I am supposed to do here was still absent. For then.
I remember at the end of that first conversation with Atahr, he asked me if I still want to follow through with the planned life path I had recently embarked upon in Awakening. He made it clear that I have Free Will and can choose to not pursue the mission or awakening experiences if I decide I prefer my life to remain as it were. But I already knew, even on day 2 of my experiences as I was scared out of my mind and lost in a whirlwind of confusion - I still knew that it was meant to be. In my heart of hearts. A deep feeling and knowing of this being all part of some plan; my plan. And it allowed me to feel closer to serving my life purpose then I had ever felt before. So needless to say, I was not about to abort mission or defy the gut feelings I had already aligned to.
So I verbalize that "Yes, I still accept the mission which I planned on coming to experience and fulfill." He said something like "Very well." And with that he threw in some advice on health issues and healing myself which added to the evidence of this being the real deal - as he acknowledged a problem area that I had not told anyone, definitely not the channeler. Yet, here these words are coming out of this strangers mouth as if he had been hanging in my room with me the whole time. Before closing the conversation - I asked him to refrain from certain activities which were scaring me constantly back then... he literally laughed at me and said, "You planned all of this; including those experiences you are asking me to put a stop to... That's something to take up with your higher self."
I remember thinking to myself; this alien is laughing at me and obviously unsympathetic to the sincere fear and traumas I was enduring at the time. But his little smart ass response made me feel a little more like family to this Atahr.
The main point of writing this entire story on my homepage is for purpose in standing steadfast in what I've always felt, despite the mainstream narratives accepted on the matter. And for the purpose of living as my true and authentic self as I be who I came here to be and not deny the experiences which i've been blessed with; despite the common misconceptions of mental illnesses and treatment protocols to recover. I've been denying and shutting down this whole alien thing, like hiding it and keeping it in the closet - for fears of looking too far out of the normal. But quite honestly I think that my hiding and shutting down of it, is the main reason I even suffer or struggle. I'm not allowing it in to me - that which makes me who I am. The beliefs and feelings which have rang true in my heart since before any of my Awakening experiences, since before I even could spell "ambassador"- this information was in me. It never stopped being my truth; it only was waiting on my acceptance and belief in it.
Here Is a little photograph I made for myself - my friends 5 year old son grabbed me by the hand one day and asked, "Hey, want to see a picture of my Father?" I of course accepted his offer, although I was thinking he was going to show me a photo of him and my best friend (his dad). When we got to the fridge, he walked up to the only picture that was of him alone and taken at an earlier date; so he was noticeably younger -- he put his finger on the 2 or 3 year old version of himself captured in that photo; and smiled from ear to ear, saying "That's my Father, Jim." and then he just walked away. I felt it was quite deep and profound, as that message came during my full understanding that the healing process was a recovery process of digging out from under all the experiences and piled up thought processes/beliefs which you've accumulated over this lifetime - to get back to your inner child. And my little buddy was able to convey the confirmation of this belief being the true meaning of the spiritual rebirth. Reborn of Spirit - uncovered and unbound; by that which has been handed down to you or manufactured by you out of necessities unknown - all of which blocking the sunlight of the Lord. The Father. Your Inner Child.
I was a skeptic on psychics, mediums, and channelers until working with this gentleman. I mean at that point in my life I didn't care how much I had to pay or what type of hoops I had to jump through - I just wanted to be able to communicate or gain understanding on what the conscious life forms which I could sometimes clearly see taking shape in my room. I just wanted to ask these guys, or girls, who I would best describe as translucent humanoid looking life forms. Like apparitions or someone out of a Hollywood movie who is cloaked invisible.
All I knew was these life forms which I could sometimes make out for a second or two - were without a doubt conscious, living beings/energies, who had a level of intelligence and technological capabilities which we must have no basis for comparison - and they seemed to be able to interact with not only me, but the whole of the environment; including time.
So I was being realistic, I did not expect to be able to completely cease the experiences, nor am I sure I would have wanted to anyway - as my feeling of this being a part of fulfilling my soul's purpose somehow. Even that first couple of days, it was already a strong feeling in my soul. In my heart of hearts, that this was all meant to be. Hence why I never went to seek psychiatric help or check myself in to an asylum - I always had a feeling which was strong enough to over ride my fears. And those fears were quite expansive and monstrous in those beginning stages of my Awakening. But that didn't change the fact I wanted to accomplish some type of communication to gain understanding on what it was I am dealing with.
Within the first couple sentences that he channeled for me, I was sold on the truth to the information coming through him. Because the information he spoke in regards of, were only known by me...me and the invisible new friends who were frequenting my room each night. So I was intrigued right off the bat, and allowed my skepticism to fall away so I could focus on the task at hand with 100% of my concentration; that being to get information from the energies that were working with me each night.
The being which came forth through the Channeler first, was named Atahr. He had an almost half-british accent which I noticed was something the Channeler did for many entities he would channel on his social media channels. I responded something short and quick like, "Atahr who? Are you the one that's working on me each night and in my house?!" He confirmed that much of the experiences which I took as not only scary but also malicious. Definitely not coming off as the work of Divine Spirit Guides - but still; I had that feeling urging me to trust the process and experiences which are to come.
Atahr went on to say that he is of planet Eshah (he even gave me general idea where it is in the galaxy). Atahr went on to explain to me, "You are Eshah's starseed on planet earth. You had chosen to come here and live this human experience. You also planned the experiences of this Spiritual Awakening Activation series of events. At this exact point in life and it's all part of the life-plan YOU had set out to experience." I was like that's just great that I can't remember it; I feel that it would have made for less fighting and running on my part - which slowed the process down quite substantially at times.
Atahr eventually said the words which I can still hear ringing in my memory as if I just heard the message channeled yesterday. I'll never forget Atahr slowly explaining, "Jim... you are the Ambassador for our race. You had planned on representing Eshah, and carry knowledge, ideas, beliefs, and messages from our world to the physical Earth as it nears the upcoming stages in conscious evolution as a planet and as a collective."
I remember not fully understanding the implications of the statement just spoke to me; but I do recall those chills through my spine and entire body as indicator of resonating to my soul's truth. Mind you; I have not seen the childhood drawing yet - that will come into my life weeks after this channeled message from Atahr. So he said another key word which I never looked up until months and months later when I met someone who said, "Oh! You're a Starseed like me! Cool, I haven't met many other people who have experienced these things too." And when she said Starseed, I was like what the heck does that mean - that's the same word this channeled message from a Spirit Guide had said I was. (You can go to the Starseed and Light Workers page for definitions) but I finally learned the meaning to Starseed and understood the characteristics which I have held throughout my entire life that align me into this community of people experiencing awakenings at the present time period.
In regards to the Ambassador conversation with Atahr and all that was laid upon me that day, I didn't know how to really digest it all but I knew for how far out the information was, it still had a complete ringing of truth to my heart when it was said. The truth was felt, but the understanding or memories of what I am supposed to do here was still absent. For then.
I remember at the end of that first conversation with Atahr, he asked me if I still want to follow through with the planned life path I had recently embarked upon in Awakening. He made it clear that I have Free Will and can choose to not pursue the mission or awakening experiences if I decide I prefer my life to remain as it were. But I already knew, even on day 2 of my experiences as I was scared out of my mind and lost in a whirlwind of confusion - I still knew that it was meant to be. In my heart of hearts. A deep feeling and knowing of this being all part of some plan; my plan. And it allowed me to feel closer to serving my life purpose then I had ever felt before. So needless to say, I was not about to abort mission or defy the gut feelings I had already aligned to.
So I verbalize that "Yes, I still accept the mission which I planned on coming to experience and fulfill." He said something like "Very well." And with that he threw in some advice on health issues and healing myself which added to the evidence of this being the real deal - as he acknowledged a problem area that I had not told anyone, definitely not the channeler. Yet, here these words are coming out of this strangers mouth as if he had been hanging in my room with me the whole time. Before closing the conversation - I asked him to refrain from certain activities which were scaring me constantly back then... he literally laughed at me and said, "You planned all of this; including those experiences you are asking me to put a stop to... That's something to take up with your higher self."
I remember thinking to myself; this alien is laughing at me and obviously unsympathetic to the sincere fear and traumas I was enduring at the time. But his little smart ass response made me feel a little more like family to this Atahr.
The main point of writing this entire story on my homepage is for purpose in standing steadfast in what I've always felt, despite the mainstream narratives accepted on the matter. And for the purpose of living as my true and authentic self as I be who I came here to be and not deny the experiences which i've been blessed with; despite the common misconceptions of mental illnesses and treatment protocols to recover. I've been denying and shutting down this whole alien thing, like hiding it and keeping it in the closet - for fears of looking too far out of the normal. But quite honestly I think that my hiding and shutting down of it, is the main reason I even suffer or struggle. I'm not allowing it in to me - that which makes me who I am. The beliefs and feelings which have rang true in my heart since before any of my Awakening experiences, since before I even could spell "ambassador"- this information was in me. It never stopped being my truth; it only was waiting on my acceptance and belief in it.
Here Is a little photograph I made for myself - my friends 5 year old son grabbed me by the hand one day and asked, "Hey, want to see a picture of my Father?" I of course accepted his offer, although I was thinking he was going to show me a photo of him and my best friend (his dad). When we got to the fridge, he walked up to the only picture that was of him alone and taken at an earlier date; so he was noticeably younger -- he put his finger on the 2 or 3 year old version of himself captured in that photo; and smiled from ear to ear, saying "That's my Father, Jim." and then he just walked away. I felt it was quite deep and profound, as that message came during my full understanding that the healing process was a recovery process of digging out from under all the experiences and piled up thought processes/beliefs which you've accumulated over this lifetime - to get back to your inner child. And my little buddy was able to convey the confirmation of this belief being the true meaning of the spiritual rebirth. Reborn of Spirit - uncovered and unbound; by that which has been handed down to you or manufactured by you out of necessities unknown - all of which blocking the sunlight of the Lord. The Father. Your Inner Child.
The Link to the Youtube Video Above is an Interview with the man who Channeled my first communication with the E.T. Being Who was involved in my experiences.
Within the first couple sentences that he channeled for me, I was sold on the truth to the information coming through him. Because the information he spoke in regards of, were only known by me...me and the invisible new friends who were frequenting my room each night. So I was intrigued right off the bat, and allowed my skepticism to fall away so I could focus on the task at hand with 100% of my concentration; that being to get information from the energies that were working with me each night.
The being which came forth through the Channeler first, was named Atahr. He had an almost half-british accent which I noticed was something the Channeler did for many entities he would channel on his social media channels. I responded something short and quick like, "Atahr who? Are you the one that's working on me each night and in my house?!" He confirmed that much of the experiences which I took as not only scary but also malicious. Definitely not coming off as the work of Divine Spirit Guides - but still; I had that feeling urging me to trust the process and experiences which are to come.
Atahr went on to say that he is of planet Eshah (he even gave me general idea where it is in the galaxy). Atahr went on to explain to me, "You are our starseed to act as ambassador on Earth on behalf of the Eshah race." You had chosen to come here and live this human experience exactly in the manner you have, all the way up to the planned awakening which you are experiencing now. At this exact point in life you set up check points to ensure your process be directed toward the desired understanding and outcome you set out to express and manifest. I responded something sarcastic like, well that is just great that I can't remember it...or you guys can't give me a heads up even. I felt that it would have made for a smoother more peaceful process in which my transition from the old normal to the new could have been overcome without many painful upheavals through my defensiveness and/or fears. As I had fought whole heartedly and set out to control the experiences that I was undergoing in my room at night.
Atahr eventually said the words which I can still hear ringing in my memory as if I just heard the message channeled yesterday. I'll never forget Atahr slowly explaining, "Jim... you are the Ambassador for our race. You had planned on representing Eshah, and carry knowledge, ideas, beliefs, and messages from our world to the physical Earth as it nears the upcoming stages in conscious evolution as a planet and as a collective."
I remember not fully understanding the implications of the statement just spoke to me; but I do recall those chills through my spine and entire body as indicator of resonating to my soul's truth. Mind you; I have not seen the childhood drawing yet - that will come into my life weeks after this channeled message from Atahr. So he said another key word which I never looked up until months and months later when I met someone who said, "Oh! You're a Starseed like me! Cool, I haven't met many other people who have experienced these things too." And when she said Starseed, I was like what the heck does that mean - that's the same word this channeled message from a Spirit Guide had said I was. (You can go to the Starseed and Light Workers page for definitions) but I finally learned the meaning to Starseed and understood the characteristics which I have held throughout my entire life that align me into this community of people experiencing awakenings at the present time period.
In regards to the Ambassador conversation with Atahr and all that was laid upon me that day, I didn't know how to really digest it all but I knew for how far out the information was, it still had a complete ringing of truth to my heart when it was said. The truth was felt, but the understanding or memories of what I am supposed to do here was still absent. For then.
I remember at the end of that first conversation with Atahr, he asked me if I still want to follow through with the planned life path I had recently embarked upon in Awakening. He made it clear that I have Free Will and can choose to not pursue the mission or awakening experiences if I decide I prefer my life to remain as it were. But I already knew, even on day 2 of my experiences as I was scared out of my mind and lost in a whirlwind of confusion - I still knew that it was meant to be. In my heart of hearts. A deep feeling and knowing of this being all part of some plan; my plan. And it allowed me to feel closer to serving my life purpose then I had ever felt before. So needless to say, I was not about to abort mission or defy the gut feelings I had already aligned to.
So I verbalize that "Yes, I still accept the mission which I planned on coming to experience and fulfill." He said something like "Very well." And with that he threw in some advice on health issues and healing myself which added to the evidence of this being the real deal - as he acknowledged a problem area that I had not told anyone, definitely not the channeler. Yet, here these words are coming out of this strangers mouth as if he had been hanging in my room with me the whole time. Before closing the conversation - I asked him to refrain from certain activities which were scaring me constantly back then... he literally laughed at me and said, "You planned all of this; including those experiences you are asking me to put a stop to... That's something to take up with your higher self."
I remember thinking to myself; this alien is laughing at me and obviously unsympathetic to the sincere fear and traumas I was enduring at the time. But his little smart ass response made me feel a little more like family to this Atahr.
The main point of writing this entire story on my homepage is for purpose in standing steadfast in what I've always felt, despite the mainstream narratives accepted on the matter. And for the purpose of living as my true and authentic self as I be who I came here to be and not deny the experiences which i've been blessed with; despite the common misconceptions of mental illnesses and treatment protocols to recover. I've been denying and shutting down this whole alien thing, like hiding it and keeping it in the closet - for fears of looking too far out of the normal. But quite honestly I think that my hiding and shutting down of it, is the main reason I even suffer or struggle. I'm not allowing it in to me - that which makes me who I am. The beliefs and feelings which have rang true in my heart since before any of my Awakening experiences, since before I even could spell "ambassador"- this information was in me. It never stopped being my truth; it only was waiting on my acceptance and belief in it.
Here Is a little photograph I made for myself - my friends 5 year old son grabbed me by the hand one day and asked, "Hey, want to see a picture of my Father?" I of course accepted his offer, although I was thinking he was going to show me a photo of him and my best friend (his dad). When we got to the fridge, he walked up to the only picture that was of him alone and taken at an earlier date; so he was noticeably younger -- he put his finger on the 2 or 3 year old version of himself captured in that photo; and smiled from ear to ear, saying "That's my Father, Jim." and then he just walked away. I felt it was quite deep and profound, as that message came during my full understanding that the healing process was a recovery process of digging out from under all the experiences and piled up thought processes/beliefs which you've accumulated over this lifetime - to get back to your inner child. And my little buddy was able to convey the confirmation of this belief being the true meaning of the spiritual rebirth. Reborn of Spirit - uncovered and unbound; by that which has been handed down to you or manufactured by you out of necessities unknown - all of which blocking the sunlight of the Lord. The Father. Your Inner Child.
Atahr went on to say that he is of planet Eshah (he even gave me general idea where it is in the galaxy). Atahr went on to explain to me, "You are our starseed to act as ambassador on Earth on behalf of the Eshah race." You had chosen to come here and live this human experience exactly in the manner you have, all the way up to the planned awakening which you are experiencing now. At this exact point in life you set up check points to ensure your process be directed toward the desired understanding and outcome you set out to express and manifest. I responded something sarcastic like, well that is just great that I can't remember it...or you guys can't give me a heads up even. I felt that it would have made for a smoother more peaceful process in which my transition from the old normal to the new could have been overcome without many painful upheavals through my defensiveness and/or fears. As I had fought whole heartedly and set out to control the experiences that I was undergoing in my room at night.
Atahr eventually said the words which I can still hear ringing in my memory as if I just heard the message channeled yesterday. I'll never forget Atahr slowly explaining, "Jim... you are the Ambassador for our race. You had planned on representing Eshah, and carry knowledge, ideas, beliefs, and messages from our world to the physical Earth as it nears the upcoming stages in conscious evolution as a planet and as a collective."
I remember not fully understanding the implications of the statement just spoke to me; but I do recall those chills through my spine and entire body as indicator of resonating to my soul's truth. Mind you; I have not seen the childhood drawing yet - that will come into my life weeks after this channeled message from Atahr. So he said another key word which I never looked up until months and months later when I met someone who said, "Oh! You're a Starseed like me! Cool, I haven't met many other people who have experienced these things too." And when she said Starseed, I was like what the heck does that mean - that's the same word this channeled message from a Spirit Guide had said I was. (You can go to the Starseed and Light Workers page for definitions) but I finally learned the meaning to Starseed and understood the characteristics which I have held throughout my entire life that align me into this community of people experiencing awakenings at the present time period.
In regards to the Ambassador conversation with Atahr and all that was laid upon me that day, I didn't know how to really digest it all but I knew for how far out the information was, it still had a complete ringing of truth to my heart when it was said. The truth was felt, but the understanding or memories of what I am supposed to do here was still absent. For then.
I remember at the end of that first conversation with Atahr, he asked me if I still want to follow through with the planned life path I had recently embarked upon in Awakening. He made it clear that I have Free Will and can choose to not pursue the mission or awakening experiences if I decide I prefer my life to remain as it were. But I already knew, even on day 2 of my experiences as I was scared out of my mind and lost in a whirlwind of confusion - I still knew that it was meant to be. In my heart of hearts. A deep feeling and knowing of this being all part of some plan; my plan. And it allowed me to feel closer to serving my life purpose then I had ever felt before. So needless to say, I was not about to abort mission or defy the gut feelings I had already aligned to.
So I verbalize that "Yes, I still accept the mission which I planned on coming to experience and fulfill." He said something like "Very well." And with that he threw in some advice on health issues and healing myself which added to the evidence of this being the real deal - as he acknowledged a problem area that I had not told anyone, definitely not the channeler. Yet, here these words are coming out of this strangers mouth as if he had been hanging in my room with me the whole time. Before closing the conversation - I asked him to refrain from certain activities which were scaring me constantly back then... he literally laughed at me and said, "You planned all of this; including those experiences you are asking me to put a stop to... That's something to take up with your higher self."
I remember thinking to myself; this alien is laughing at me and obviously unsympathetic to the sincere fear and traumas I was enduring at the time. But his little smart ass response made me feel a little more like family to this Atahr.
The main point of writing this entire story on my homepage is for purpose in standing steadfast in what I've always felt, despite the mainstream narratives accepted on the matter. And for the purpose of living as my true and authentic self as I be who I came here to be and not deny the experiences which i've been blessed with; despite the common misconceptions of mental illnesses and treatment protocols to recover. I've been denying and shutting down this whole alien thing, like hiding it and keeping it in the closet - for fears of looking too far out of the normal. But quite honestly I think that my hiding and shutting down of it, is the main reason I even suffer or struggle. I'm not allowing it in to me - that which makes me who I am. The beliefs and feelings which have rang true in my heart since before any of my Awakening experiences, since before I even could spell "ambassador"- this information was in me. It never stopped being my truth; it only was waiting on my acceptance and belief in it.
Here Is a little photograph I made for myself - my friends 5 year old son grabbed me by the hand one day and asked, "Hey, want to see a picture of my Father?" I of course accepted his offer, although I was thinking he was going to show me a photo of him and my best friend (his dad). When we got to the fridge, he walked up to the only picture that was of him alone and taken at an earlier date; so he was noticeably younger -- he put his finger on the 2 or 3 year old version of himself captured in that photo; and smiled from ear to ear, saying "That's my Father, Jim." and then he just walked away. I felt it was quite deep and profound, as that message came during my full understanding that the healing process was a recovery process of digging out from under all the experiences and piled up thought processes/beliefs which you've accumulated over this lifetime - to get back to your inner child. And my little buddy was able to convey the confirmation of this belief being the true meaning of the spiritual rebirth. Reborn of Spirit - uncovered and unbound; by that which has been handed down to you or manufactured by you out of necessities unknown - all of which blocking the sunlight of the Lord. The Father. Your Inner Child.
