Mothering and Fathering
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Discussed Below are:
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Overview:
When it comes to Love, we are often looking through the eyes which wears glasses corroded by a past filled with falls and breaks. We come into this world needing human touch and love. Yet, the dependance built upon this external source of love is that which will define you and your relationships moving forward. Truth Is you do not need the love another to stand on your own any longer. If you are reading these words it's assumed you are an adult or young adult. At the age of 11 if you have not learned to use language, then you will never be able to properly communicate. Much like this period of development, there is a period in which a person will learn to love for themself. Or they continue to reach and rely upon the external love of another to define them. Their stability, the worth they have, the overall identity they hold can become reliant upon some outside source of love being provided. Hoping from lover to lover, relationship to relationship, focusing upon acquiring, dating or meeting someone new when not in relationship. These are signs of the misplaced love that one searches for, even though it is within themselves. This is where we focus on in this page - starting with the most important piece, the Mothers and Fathers Love. |
The one common thread between human’s childhood raising and psychological ripples felt into adult hood. It’s no mystery the inner child symptoms that have to be addressed in later years if one chooses that insight. The inner child had seen the world through the eyes of a different essence then we can give credit to until meeting this child.
The mother brings the child into the world. The child is introduced to the physicality in which it has entered, coming from somewhere which aren’t able to prove. I like to believe in the origin of our soul, is a place of love and learning. Choosing to come into this experience for the knowledge gained from the feelings, experiencing, and interactions.
Introduction – Painful. The first feelings of the body. The lights. The organs working in coordination with the consciousness. The inability to be understood or express through means of shared knowing. Left to screaming and crying as the consciousness produces the cause and effect law, the effect being the vocal chords producing what the emotions were trying to carry with thought alone. Thought turning into the physical is a feeling of drowning under water if we were to remember it. Trying to understand why it takes effort to simply be in that moment. Gasping to find an air bubble of safety from which you came. Trying to relay your thoughts to form an understanding. Only to be stone walled by your own body in which you now call home.
Throughout the infancy, the fits a baby will kick, cry, and scream – apparently without reason. Fed recently, clean diaper, no injuries as far as you can see. This often is the effect of the repetitive nature of this overwhelming experience where the infant finds itself under water in this new world. Many parents, first time parents especially, will take the child to the doctor or become worried about internal illness. I have a high probability in the case being related to the before mentioned experience the baby has.
Sleep paralysis among adults is one in the same experiences felt by the soul. An echo through the consciousness of being in the situation unable to control the body or understand the situation. Dually noted that if the sleep paralysis can’t be healed, the linking of it to this may help.
The baby is fed. Given our obvious reality and understanding this the human nature and needs of our bodies. Unknowingly creating the echo for a lot of imbalances we see amongst our adult and youth today. The reliance upon the feeding, the crying and the reward system that becomes second nature, and the scheduled times of intake.
First, the reward system that forms from this relationship of feedings is root of ‘addictions’ of all shapes, self-love, co-dependency, involvement in abusive relationships, on and on it can go. Anything where there is a Need felt and not met by something outside of ones own self, thus creating a feeling of lack in that person. I did not receive this attention/feeling(reward) therefor I am not loved. Not worthwhile.
The result in the case of the mother giving her best and just feeding to ensure the baby’s survival – there is still this echo sent which will have to be healed and understood by the grown up baby years down the road if inner-discovery is part of their journey – or spiritual awakening. An inevitable cause and effect of the human experience. No wrong. No right. Just is and love is the cause. Always leaving love underneath each stone turned.
The more the Mother’s Love and caring for of the child’s needs, the more she gives the answers to the questions the child faces, the more protection she provides, the more control emphasized by the Mother – the more widespread the echo throughout child’s adult life in needs of Love and attention. Essentially the more the Mother tries her best at protection and providing a nest of love, then the more reliance takes place of learning by experience.
The mother who doesn’t show the baby love; or is absent in the baby’s life. The sense the child develops for the need to do something extra to be loved. The fear of not being lovable or loved. The closed heart of abandonment with lacking trust to any person whom shows possibility of offering love. Thus, begins seeking for the attention and the putting of others love in front of their own.
Looks like a lose-lose situation for Mothering. Which begs the question; what are we looking at here in a lesson of the human life? Why would life be set up in a manner where we enter the world to an unavoidable self-love & self-worth stumbling block?
There’s a preservation technique to the method of the soul’s protection. Coming from Love, coming from always knowing, always provided for to enter a world of Needs and Reliance. The needs and reliance takes place of the ease in which an existence of Faith and Unconditional Love brings. It’s an exciting opportunity for the soul, so it’s not a punishment. Then why – why walk into an experience of painful physical feeing, and burying of one’s sense of love?
The whole experience of the human life is of being loved, and of giving love. An exchange of love and pain. As we come from love. And we are love at the core of our essence. To not be separated from the Love, is to be separate from Love. For the truest appreciation of Love comes from the understanding of what it is to not feel Love. The experience of Soul’s sharing the experiences together its often the most painful and hard relationships in our lives that our true Soul Mates. Being the soul’s we continuously reincarnate together, assigning experiences and lessons to be shared together.
In respects to the spiritual experience it’s easy to find oneself endlessly looping through these echoes with no avail. Progress unfelt, and no exit sign in sight. That is where the unlocking of this information for the individual is an important part of the discovery process. To let that little boy or girl out for the expression of emotional artifacts buried under years of lifetime.
It is often the weight sheering of the whole process. As it unburdens years of suppressed anguish and pain, all just waiting for the day that it is invited to surface for it’s moment to reprieve. That is your grand opportunity to comfort yourself, your child-self, with all the unconditional love and acceptance that was perceived missing. Now your understanding being that all there is Love and he/she’s safe now and always was. Is loved now, as it was back then. Liberation.
The spiritual experience in self-discovery during an awakening has a way of bringing forgiveness to the heart. The forgiveness must go inward with the individual forgiving themselves most of all. Often going overlooked the whole life, unconsidered as something to be done even. Well that forgiveness at some point turns to an Unconditional Love. Where the idea of wrongs and rights become eliminated, leaving the word of forgiveness less meaningful. So there it is. Unconditional Love is the medicine needed, inward is a must – then the love shining out to all. As it always had. Perception is only variable.
The mother’s responsibility and sacrifice that she agrees to take on. The letting go of her own freedom, her own desires and needs for Love become pushed down the chain, the pressure of being the perfect mother. The constant thoughts in questioning of herself quietly in her room at night and throughout the day when she finds the time to stop and breathe. The fear and worry that something ever happens to you. The fear of failure. Failing you. Meaning failure in herself.
Onward the Mother Cycle continues in a full circle so threaded and intertwined to both souls’ lives. So much unavoidable. So much out of Love, with the best of intentions. But there we are, the truth and reality of the complexity and beauty of the human relationships. The sweeter the discovery of Love at the end of every tunnel, and the sweetest of liberations.
The Father’s Love is a similar relationship that echoes down the infants life into adult years with their perceptions of Love. Although more often less of the nurturer and food giver, thus allowing the father wiggle room to be less depended on. Masculine energy balancing necessary in the young one’s life none the less. The Father is as much an excitement and joy that brings nurturing feelings, but not the reliance weight that the Mother would.
The Father, as a male in the societal structures and norms of today is responsible for being provider of financial support. Bringing dinner home and working his precious days of life ensuring the needs of the baby and family are met. Which isn’t understood by infants, or any absence of the Father during workdays -until time is more grasped and routine is developed where the child now understands timeframes of departures and arrivals. Often around meals and times of feeding like breakfast and dinner, solidifying another importance on the feeding times.
The echo from Father’s work is often the echo heard most down the infant’s life into adult years with their perceptions of Love. The perceptions that this absence of the Father is often internalized as a lacking of love felt from him. Then the attention and pursuit can begin for the child. Extra effort being put into the seeking and acquiring of Dad’s attention, sometimes with acting out and doing things identified already as not good behavior. For even though it means trouble and possible punishment. It also means attention and emotional engagement from the Father.
This can lead to the acting out throughout teenage years and into adulthood in different forms. From getting in trouble at schools to serious drug use and criminal activities. Which often the connection is not made by anyone in the family and it’s more a question of morals and thought process.
The far more interwoven aspect to the child who is looking for Dad’s attention and love, is the self-love lost. Similar between both parents, the infant realizes the cause and effect relationship of all things, the reward or punishments to expect. The seeking of Love outside of oneself, and the belief that acting out, or even just some sort of action is needed in order to be Loved.
The Father’s emotional availability and expressiveness has a lot to do with the child’s future emotional relations. When the Father is the role of enforcer and the punishment; the association with masculine energy can become one of Fear and inability to express oneself genuinely to males. The more the Father is unable to show emotions, the more the child will find Fear to express genuinely to masculine. Specifically, the boy when grown will carry this trait often and the daughter grown will look to masculine energy as being hard to attain or absent.
The absence of a Father in general will leave unbalance in masculine energy in the child. Often unacknowledged as so, until adult years in the love perspectives showing a theme. Boys without the Father presence, whether it be few and far between or simply absent 100%, will find a reliance and need for their female counterparts to be the provider and nurturer of their sense of love. Even a strong leaning toward relationships with females that are older and/or more mature. Sexual energy is unbalanced and often tipped over further to the physical act of sex becoming the lead indicator of how much they are Loved. Growing up and be raised in home by the feminine independent, while leaving the masculine energy to be filled by their male friends and social surroundings as they grow through school. Boys acquiring their masculine energy understanding and balancing through other boys, picking up on most of it in the stages of puberty, leads to heightened and unbalances in sexual holdings of the male side of the child.
The absence of a Father in a daughter’s life can lead to the more codependent nature of the woman when older. As missing the masculine energy, whether unacknowledged or not, can become the driving factor for acquiring this through love. Often again an idea that to be loved by a male they have to do or act in some special way. Often sexual energies as well will show as the relationships romantic in their life are the contact representing masculine energy, with sex becoming the misconception of how to get it. No father, no strong male presence in the home protecting, nurturing, loving leaves the daughter to perceive the sex with the masculine as the way to gain this love and balance.
In most cases Father is like the Mother, doing the best jobs they can. Giving it their all. The Father spending his long hours working to provide. Often times a job that isn’t speaking to him on a soul level, leaving his heart missing something too. The emotional abilities of males also play a role in the child’s concepts of what emotions to use and when, or not use at all. This leads to perception of lack for the child and an extra reliance is placed on Mother.
Father and Mother giving it their all. Carefully placing their hearts into teaching their values and beliefs on how they thought were ingredients to live a happy life. It’s too bad no one is telling the truth of the fact – you will fail in parenting. In the sense of the weight and ideas you put on it. The perception of failing as a parent should be released by all people who are going to give birth. The success is in the willingness to just have a child. Of bringing another soul to this world, that unbeknownst to you was waiting patiently and picked you for a specific reason.
A huge hope is put in the resolve these relationships for the family. The child when getting down to these deep truths and understanding of life and the upbringing, is often taking the parents along with them. Whether through verbalizing and communicating about it to them or by his new perspective which will lead to healthy and healed part of the family. Healing of the ancestors takes place as well. The generations prior who hadn’t been able to uncover, heal, and express their unconditional loves are all unhinged from that lesson needed. The future lineage of the family is freed from much of the avoidable obstacles and any karmic ties carried forth.
Parents carried forward for you carry a heavy responsibility and it’s a beautiful impact you get to make on the world. Don’t hold the perceptions of your perfection or the right and wrong way of experiencing this stage. It is like anything else in life, learning and loving. Enjoy.
The mother brings the child into the world. The child is introduced to the physicality in which it has entered, coming from somewhere which aren’t able to prove. I like to believe in the origin of our soul, is a place of love and learning. Choosing to come into this experience for the knowledge gained from the feelings, experiencing, and interactions.
Introduction – Painful. The first feelings of the body. The lights. The organs working in coordination with the consciousness. The inability to be understood or express through means of shared knowing. Left to screaming and crying as the consciousness produces the cause and effect law, the effect being the vocal chords producing what the emotions were trying to carry with thought alone. Thought turning into the physical is a feeling of drowning under water if we were to remember it. Trying to understand why it takes effort to simply be in that moment. Gasping to find an air bubble of safety from which you came. Trying to relay your thoughts to form an understanding. Only to be stone walled by your own body in which you now call home.
Throughout the infancy, the fits a baby will kick, cry, and scream – apparently without reason. Fed recently, clean diaper, no injuries as far as you can see. This often is the effect of the repetitive nature of this overwhelming experience where the infant finds itself under water in this new world. Many parents, first time parents especially, will take the child to the doctor or become worried about internal illness. I have a high probability in the case being related to the before mentioned experience the baby has.
Sleep paralysis among adults is one in the same experiences felt by the soul. An echo through the consciousness of being in the situation unable to control the body or understand the situation. Dually noted that if the sleep paralysis can’t be healed, the linking of it to this may help.
The baby is fed. Given our obvious reality and understanding this the human nature and needs of our bodies. Unknowingly creating the echo for a lot of imbalances we see amongst our adult and youth today. The reliance upon the feeding, the crying and the reward system that becomes second nature, and the scheduled times of intake.
First, the reward system that forms from this relationship of feedings is root of ‘addictions’ of all shapes, self-love, co-dependency, involvement in abusive relationships, on and on it can go. Anything where there is a Need felt and not met by something outside of ones own self, thus creating a feeling of lack in that person. I did not receive this attention/feeling(reward) therefor I am not loved. Not worthwhile.
The result in the case of the mother giving her best and just feeding to ensure the baby’s survival – there is still this echo sent which will have to be healed and understood by the grown up baby years down the road if inner-discovery is part of their journey – or spiritual awakening. An inevitable cause and effect of the human experience. No wrong. No right. Just is and love is the cause. Always leaving love underneath each stone turned.
The more the Mother’s Love and caring for of the child’s needs, the more she gives the answers to the questions the child faces, the more protection she provides, the more control emphasized by the Mother – the more widespread the echo throughout child’s adult life in needs of Love and attention. Essentially the more the Mother tries her best at protection and providing a nest of love, then the more reliance takes place of learning by experience.
The mother who doesn’t show the baby love; or is absent in the baby’s life. The sense the child develops for the need to do something extra to be loved. The fear of not being lovable or loved. The closed heart of abandonment with lacking trust to any person whom shows possibility of offering love. Thus, begins seeking for the attention and the putting of others love in front of their own.
Looks like a lose-lose situation for Mothering. Which begs the question; what are we looking at here in a lesson of the human life? Why would life be set up in a manner where we enter the world to an unavoidable self-love & self-worth stumbling block?
There’s a preservation technique to the method of the soul’s protection. Coming from Love, coming from always knowing, always provided for to enter a world of Needs and Reliance. The needs and reliance takes place of the ease in which an existence of Faith and Unconditional Love brings. It’s an exciting opportunity for the soul, so it’s not a punishment. Then why – why walk into an experience of painful physical feeing, and burying of one’s sense of love?
The whole experience of the human life is of being loved, and of giving love. An exchange of love and pain. As we come from love. And we are love at the core of our essence. To not be separated from the Love, is to be separate from Love. For the truest appreciation of Love comes from the understanding of what it is to not feel Love. The experience of Soul’s sharing the experiences together its often the most painful and hard relationships in our lives that our true Soul Mates. Being the soul’s we continuously reincarnate together, assigning experiences and lessons to be shared together.
In respects to the spiritual experience it’s easy to find oneself endlessly looping through these echoes with no avail. Progress unfelt, and no exit sign in sight. That is where the unlocking of this information for the individual is an important part of the discovery process. To let that little boy or girl out for the expression of emotional artifacts buried under years of lifetime.
It is often the weight sheering of the whole process. As it unburdens years of suppressed anguish and pain, all just waiting for the day that it is invited to surface for it’s moment to reprieve. That is your grand opportunity to comfort yourself, your child-self, with all the unconditional love and acceptance that was perceived missing. Now your understanding being that all there is Love and he/she’s safe now and always was. Is loved now, as it was back then. Liberation.
The spiritual experience in self-discovery during an awakening has a way of bringing forgiveness to the heart. The forgiveness must go inward with the individual forgiving themselves most of all. Often going overlooked the whole life, unconsidered as something to be done even. Well that forgiveness at some point turns to an Unconditional Love. Where the idea of wrongs and rights become eliminated, leaving the word of forgiveness less meaningful. So there it is. Unconditional Love is the medicine needed, inward is a must – then the love shining out to all. As it always had. Perception is only variable.
The mother’s responsibility and sacrifice that she agrees to take on. The letting go of her own freedom, her own desires and needs for Love become pushed down the chain, the pressure of being the perfect mother. The constant thoughts in questioning of herself quietly in her room at night and throughout the day when she finds the time to stop and breathe. The fear and worry that something ever happens to you. The fear of failure. Failing you. Meaning failure in herself.
Onward the Mother Cycle continues in a full circle so threaded and intertwined to both souls’ lives. So much unavoidable. So much out of Love, with the best of intentions. But there we are, the truth and reality of the complexity and beauty of the human relationships. The sweeter the discovery of Love at the end of every tunnel, and the sweetest of liberations.
The Father’s Love is a similar relationship that echoes down the infants life into adult years with their perceptions of Love. Although more often less of the nurturer and food giver, thus allowing the father wiggle room to be less depended on. Masculine energy balancing necessary in the young one’s life none the less. The Father is as much an excitement and joy that brings nurturing feelings, but not the reliance weight that the Mother would.
The Father, as a male in the societal structures and norms of today is responsible for being provider of financial support. Bringing dinner home and working his precious days of life ensuring the needs of the baby and family are met. Which isn’t understood by infants, or any absence of the Father during workdays -until time is more grasped and routine is developed where the child now understands timeframes of departures and arrivals. Often around meals and times of feeding like breakfast and dinner, solidifying another importance on the feeding times.
The echo from Father’s work is often the echo heard most down the infant’s life into adult years with their perceptions of Love. The perceptions that this absence of the Father is often internalized as a lacking of love felt from him. Then the attention and pursuit can begin for the child. Extra effort being put into the seeking and acquiring of Dad’s attention, sometimes with acting out and doing things identified already as not good behavior. For even though it means trouble and possible punishment. It also means attention and emotional engagement from the Father.
This can lead to the acting out throughout teenage years and into adulthood in different forms. From getting in trouble at schools to serious drug use and criminal activities. Which often the connection is not made by anyone in the family and it’s more a question of morals and thought process.
The far more interwoven aspect to the child who is looking for Dad’s attention and love, is the self-love lost. Similar between both parents, the infant realizes the cause and effect relationship of all things, the reward or punishments to expect. The seeking of Love outside of oneself, and the belief that acting out, or even just some sort of action is needed in order to be Loved.
The Father’s emotional availability and expressiveness has a lot to do with the child’s future emotional relations. When the Father is the role of enforcer and the punishment; the association with masculine energy can become one of Fear and inability to express oneself genuinely to males. The more the Father is unable to show emotions, the more the child will find Fear to express genuinely to masculine. Specifically, the boy when grown will carry this trait often and the daughter grown will look to masculine energy as being hard to attain or absent.
The absence of a Father in general will leave unbalance in masculine energy in the child. Often unacknowledged as so, until adult years in the love perspectives showing a theme. Boys without the Father presence, whether it be few and far between or simply absent 100%, will find a reliance and need for their female counterparts to be the provider and nurturer of their sense of love. Even a strong leaning toward relationships with females that are older and/or more mature. Sexual energy is unbalanced and often tipped over further to the physical act of sex becoming the lead indicator of how much they are Loved. Growing up and be raised in home by the feminine independent, while leaving the masculine energy to be filled by their male friends and social surroundings as they grow through school. Boys acquiring their masculine energy understanding and balancing through other boys, picking up on most of it in the stages of puberty, leads to heightened and unbalances in sexual holdings of the male side of the child.
The absence of a Father in a daughter’s life can lead to the more codependent nature of the woman when older. As missing the masculine energy, whether unacknowledged or not, can become the driving factor for acquiring this through love. Often again an idea that to be loved by a male they have to do or act in some special way. Often sexual energies as well will show as the relationships romantic in their life are the contact representing masculine energy, with sex becoming the misconception of how to get it. No father, no strong male presence in the home protecting, nurturing, loving leaves the daughter to perceive the sex with the masculine as the way to gain this love and balance.
In most cases Father is like the Mother, doing the best jobs they can. Giving it their all. The Father spending his long hours working to provide. Often times a job that isn’t speaking to him on a soul level, leaving his heart missing something too. The emotional abilities of males also play a role in the child’s concepts of what emotions to use and when, or not use at all. This leads to perception of lack for the child and an extra reliance is placed on Mother.
Father and Mother giving it their all. Carefully placing their hearts into teaching their values and beliefs on how they thought were ingredients to live a happy life. It’s too bad no one is telling the truth of the fact – you will fail in parenting. In the sense of the weight and ideas you put on it. The perception of failing as a parent should be released by all people who are going to give birth. The success is in the willingness to just have a child. Of bringing another soul to this world, that unbeknownst to you was waiting patiently and picked you for a specific reason.
A huge hope is put in the resolve these relationships for the family. The child when getting down to these deep truths and understanding of life and the upbringing, is often taking the parents along with them. Whether through verbalizing and communicating about it to them or by his new perspective which will lead to healthy and healed part of the family. Healing of the ancestors takes place as well. The generations prior who hadn’t been able to uncover, heal, and express their unconditional loves are all unhinged from that lesson needed. The future lineage of the family is freed from much of the avoidable obstacles and any karmic ties carried forth.
Parents carried forward for you carry a heavy responsibility and it’s a beautiful impact you get to make on the world. Don’t hold the perceptions of your perfection or the right and wrong way of experiencing this stage. It is like anything else in life, learning and loving. Enjoy.
Self - Help Workbook: Finding Your Love |
The Mother’s Love
Sings through the beauty of the trees,
Birthing that wings that carry all life giving bees.
While honey drips into the jars upon the cupboard,
The bees hardened grips on the possible will be missed.
Those without the common courtesy, those with the values.
The morals and codes upheld to a time long lost.
This time.
Coming forth through the mountain’s spring.
As long last winter’s break into the first of Spring.
A season, a time, a cycle, the life.
Where will you be standing when the time comes.
Father will return home, and rules are now regulation.
Do no fear, the love is the same in the father as the mother.
Only wishing for a better perspective in your soul.
To appreciate the love you’ve been gifted.
The time which is a gift.
And the blessing of all natures beauty which surrounds you each day.
Do not forget.
Do not let time slip by.
You are here once, and that’s all you do know.
There’s one feeling you fall for. And love is not regulated by time.
So grasp onto the love, and allow the time. We are all together.
As we came, we will leave.
In love it started. Out of love it will end.
Thanks to her.
Sings through the beauty of the trees,
Birthing that wings that carry all life giving bees.
While honey drips into the jars upon the cupboard,
The bees hardened grips on the possible will be missed.
Those without the common courtesy, those with the values.
The morals and codes upheld to a time long lost.
This time.
Coming forth through the mountain’s spring.
As long last winter’s break into the first of Spring.
A season, a time, a cycle, the life.
Where will you be standing when the time comes.
Father will return home, and rules are now regulation.
Do no fear, the love is the same in the father as the mother.
Only wishing for a better perspective in your soul.
To appreciate the love you’ve been gifted.
The time which is a gift.
And the blessing of all natures beauty which surrounds you each day.
Do not forget.
Do not let time slip by.
You are here once, and that’s all you do know.
There’s one feeling you fall for. And love is not regulated by time.
So grasp onto the love, and allow the time. We are all together.
As we came, we will leave.
In love it started. Out of love it will end.
Thanks to her.