The yogis got something going on right. I remember the first time I went to yoga and believing that I was not flexible at that point in my life, while the instructor at the front said - "Bring all your awareness to the point of the burn. Sit with it. Be one with it. Don't judge it."
Holy fuck was that dude ever right. It's essentially what I have been doing with social and emotional pains. Having to be one with it. Having to sit with it and not label it. Allow the thoughts of what others would think drift away into the abyss. Realizing this whole time I had only made choices based on that choir of thoughts. Picturing friends, family, my parents - as i'm decision making in life.
It's a horrible place to be as an individual trying to experience their damn experience. It was literal hell, and I didn't even realize there was a way out. For I didn't know I was in it. I had the key. It was to literally do every damn thing my fear choir was telling me not to do. Anything I would think about doing, that was then followed by a worry of what they will think or what the outcome may be...a failure? Fuck yeah, the failure is in stopping there.
I have a client I've been working with for years now. He has parkinsons. I had been so disengaged until recently but now all the pieces are coming together. I see how I can help all these people I've had in front of me this whole time - and how I can learn myself how to evolve efficiently. The fountain of youth for humans. Not sure if it's something even desired for what is the point of the experience if there isn't a beginning and end. But either way this will help a lot of people fighting to just exist and live - in a world which they feeling separate from. Or they feel they are missing something. Or they simply live in fear, do all the mandatory things which are demanded of them to exist. If only everyone knew there was literally not a damn thing you need to do. Nothing. It's kind of silly once you realize it. But dude, if you're doing something that's not making you happy and content. If you feel like there's some fulfillment missing - or your soul's purpose is what? - Then fucking go do what you want. It's liberating.
Time works for you when you sit at the other side of it. I had a schedule before. I lived by it. Now I don't even look at it, different times and places all week - but as I let down my needing and wanting to control - I learned there is an internal schedule which works in all of us.
I was stressed about work. Oh shit, I'm in debt. Oh shit, I have like 50% less money coming in then I used to. Well I was sufficiently broken enough into blind faith, very very blind faith. But it's freeing. Because as I don't worry anymore. As I am ONLY doing the things I want to do. And put my focus on what would be fulfilling to me -- and not the almighty dollar - the Lottery was won. All new work comes in that I had only prevented by seeking and reaching. For if I had sat in what I had with Trust - then the floods come in.
Back to the guy i'm working with who has "parkinson's" - which I think the labeling of these symptoms is some of the worst shit we can be doing to ourselves. But regardless the topic I speak on is fear. As I had worked with my client who I will now just refer to as Doug. More of a friend and teacher to me as I see it now. As they all are in our lives.
Before any exercise Doug would do, he would begin wincing and saying "Oh god. Oh god. Oh god." And then he would go forward with the motion of the exercise. I finally asked, Doug why you saying Oh god. Oh God?
Doug - I'm scared.
Me- What are you scared of Doug?
Doug - Falling...
Me - Well you aren't moving yet. You're actually sitting. And I'm right here.
It dawned on me that this can translate to everything in life. That fear of taking the first step into something new or scary. Something that we don't know the outcome, and it could end in us falling straight onto our face. Often the fear wins and will keep us from taking that first step. The fear of falling is significant, as it must be understood there is no falling backwards. Only forward, often times it just takes our mind and understanding to catch up.
I put Doug on the table for stretch therapy healing that I provide. This day I put my hands on his ankles as I start with all sessions. And I felt his legs as concrete slabs along with an image in my minds eye. I knew then, he was severely disconnected from Earth. From his own body. He hasn't been down to his feet in who knows how long.
Doug was a very successful man. Worked very hard his whole life. Accomplished a lot of amazing things, traveled the world selling his business invention with the US Gov't, and by all accounts was healthy with happiness in his every day life.
I've come to understand, thanks to Doug and others I have the pleasure of working with, that it is all about connection and focus.
Doug for instance had focused on many things in life. Accomplishing much of what he set out to achieve. I can't speak for him, but I'll take a guess that he was like many of us. Focused on being financially stable, on completing a course, on the career which we desire, or even focusing on retirement off in the distance while working tirelessly in the present moment. Never actually being present.
I think we will find in studies which I am about to start documenting my own findings as the connection between these diseases we see of disconnect from the body. As not being associated with health or any other lifestyle choice - but rather from not being provided the simple ability of being in the moment and present.
If your work brings this for you..Holy fuck, it's unbelievable. Like cooks, hair dressers, game wardens, golfers, and park rangers - it is a blessing. The one thing that I am firmly believing as necessary in the connection being the feet on the Earth.
Not on the concrete, not on the floor of the house, but the feet on the grass, dirt, or sand - or even in the water. It's important to bring the focus of the mind down to the feet and the feelings of them touching the Earth. Just being and feeling, with attention at the point of connection. For it's a conscious awareness we are talking about, not a changing physical law. You are apart of the Earth. Like a living organism the earth is breathing, evolving, it's living. And humans, like the animals and plants are cells working together as a part of the whole.
The cell does not need to go around saying it's a cell. It does not have to declare I am a cell of the Earth. In fact it doesn't even have to realize it is a cell in the first place. But it doesn't make a difference that it's a part of the whole.
And that's what we are seeing today. With the elderly and all these symptoms being labeled by medical community or pharmaceutical salesmen anyway, as being just a fact of the human body. Fact of life. You could possibly get to age 70, 80, or heck 90's - but there's a chance you'll forget who you are, along with everyone else in your life. At which point you're going to be spoon fed in a facility while regimen of medicine to sedate you will be given. HA! Dude, what the fuck is that.
Yeah sure, people go crazy. Yeah sure, people eat foods that are processed by who knows what really. But the truth is, why would this loss of body connection be the common symptoms in many of these labels we've latched on. Why? Think from age 3, 4 or whatever we are put into a system of learning and socializing, which I mean is cool and shit for baby sitting and learning. But at age 13 or 14, this idea and sense of NEEDING to be someone, or to get ready for some sort of career or lifelong path to take.
At age 18 you better have the decision made on what the fuck it is you want to do for this life. What's my choices guys? Okay well Business is probably the best bet. Everything takes business, even the zoo with all the animals you'd love to take care of or the musicians store where you'd really prefer to teach others music. Business is safe, sounds like money. Sounds like success. Success to who?
What else? Well political science...there's economics. How about biology? Maybe chemistry? Oh anthropology! I like that one, that was interesting at least. I really enjoy learning about human's becoming who they are today. What can I do with that?
Well if you look here you can make low income annual salaries...So you'll be eating ramen and possibly shitting outside in the sand dunes of an ancient ruins site. Or....You can teach! You can teach it to others. But don't forget teachers have the highest percentage risk of this thing we call alzheimers. SO again...you'll probably forget who you are at some point.
Well fuck..That's because we have created a system to not even know who the fuck you are by the time you are making life decisions. Based on your understanding of who you are as a person who is raised by their parents, living at home with their parents, and going to a school that is not catered to their desires or areas of interest. So here ya go fuck face forget who you want to be, here's the choices we got. And a system which solely will focus your rating of how successful you'll be, by the amount of dollars you will make in a year.
Holy shit, how fucked is that? Success in life. Engrained into the psyche as a price tag that you can attach dollar signs and numbers to. Hell to the no. I'll tell you, everyone is losing their god damn minds right now because of this exact shit. Not doing what they want to do. Never having known what they want to do. And not being able to be present enough to sit on the ground of Earth and realize THIS IS ALL I NEED.
Everything else can fall to the waist side. It's an illusion for the focus of our beautifully abundant spirit to become blocked and the consciousness which enables this to be fully capable of what it is that it can do.
I threw my shit to the wind, and went on a Peru trip - which was confused for a bad decision at one point. But it was a taste. Just a fucking taste.
The taste of freedom. What true freedom is. To me anyway. To my spirit. All I'm here to do is walk and talk. Walking and talking. It's the medicine. Oh and write. Writing down some talking is important for me to.
Walking on earth. Being barefoot in the grass, on the sand at the beach, in the dirt on empty lot next to your house. Just go do it. Get dirty. Lay face down on her. Lay on your back and look up at the stars or the clouds. I'll tell you that scorpion has something to it. Maybe you'll see it. Maybe you won't. But light is not what it seems, and you are not confined to a damn thing.
There is freedom within the chaos too. Which is why I'm here. Balanced as fuck now, finally. Letting that spirit flow the past few days, allowing some healing and messages to be sent. From ancestors to family members, to me, from me to my parents, and from all to me. The messages were of communication and doing what you want.
We must not avoid communication with our loved ones. With those who have hurt us. Do not avoid the discomfort of taking time to hearing someone's side and allowing it to be with acceptance-in the name of compassion and forgiveness. Unconditional Love is what is passed to us. From the one's who came before. Yet the consciousness is blocked by two things - fear and beliefs.
Do not fear the uncomfortable. And do not believe what you are fed. If you don't buy into it. Then throw that shit to the wind. The wind will take it for you. Then that flame will have a little more room to dance and breath.
As societies do, the music binds them and they like to dance to the rhythm of sounds. Listen to the words of your music, what is it binding you to? What sounds good about it? What are the lyrics about? Shit I'll still bump drake every now and then. But I can't take that shit going into my head much anymore. I prefer some positive peaceful shit. Like Trevor Hall, O.A.R., Matisyahu, or some fun oldies- just jammed the lion king's theme track with my buddy and it was a blast.
Communication from your heart will come in the form of discomfort often. As confusion to who or what we are doing here can be felt throughout. The idea that will pop into your head as something you'd like to do.. then immediately shut out by doubts.
- How are you supposed to make a living off doing that
-You can't just travel and take vacations.
-Writing your songs or poetry and making music wouldn't contribute to your life.
-Drawing again or taking up a new art hobby would be silly as a 30 year old MAN.
It's all the same..just a test of your desire. Do you really want to feel that spirit dancing in you? Freely and able to do what it is that you fucking want. What you came here for. That you knew your whole life, but don't want to admit the surrender in the never ending chase.
What you chasing? For who are you chasing it? Are you chasing it in ways that bring happiness or fulfillment? Because if sitting for a second with quieting all thoughts and to-do's. No past or present, no chatter of the mind. Just you in the center. What's that feeling?
Doug taught me so much that day. He showed me that the fear which has been passed down unintentionally throw all channels of upbringing-has now run it's course in human consciousness. It is no longer a desired experience to understand the separation from expressing fully. As a child. You knew when you were a child. But it's just too loud maybe from the years in between.
Get in front of a child, ask them what makes them happy. Ask them what they want to do with their life. Heck, be willing to accept they may know more than you think you know - ask them what they think you should do in life.
Get in front of some elders and ask them advice or tips they'd give on living life.
Shut your mind up 100% and allow the answers to come. A message for you, from a savior that had been right in front of us this whole time. Yet we are too fixed on controlling and judging what is right or wrong, whats normal, what's strange, what's our response going to be, etc......
When all that chatter's gone and you can receive 100% unconditionally. The answers are crystal clear.
Live that life. Thanks to Doug for being my teacher. Thanks to all the people I get to work with on a daily basis with these "irreversible" symptoms. Because we will be changing the future given the hard work and focus they show each day. The mind needs no medicine, it produces the best medicine! Like the yoga philosophy I spoke about at the beginning - We bring our awareness back to the body and just be with it. Feel it. Be with it. It's not even real half the time, but more our fears and beliefs around it.
Seeding a Reality: Talks of Life and Meaning
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