To say that any one person on this earth is able to walk through the narrow passages of childhood and teenage years without immense bundling of a multitude of false beliefs, Fears, and coupled with the choir of echoes from the past.
All humans are experiencing the Earth Human experience, and this is a stage of separation. Separation from that which makes you. Yet allowing you to fully understand and enjoy that which you have.
Love is what you have. 'Euphoria' is the feeling which your essence vibrates at, through, and from. While here we are shown the beautiful walk back to this truth. Which gives the appreciation and allows it to even exist. If there were multiple feelings from which you came. Then why would you have to go anywhere other than where you're at to be apart of it.
Well you don't. You have all things with you. As you are. Now. Here. In the moment.
Which pains someone who has read those words from a point of confusion. As I know the phrase "Easier said then done." should always be tagged on those words of wisdom.
I hope all are able to come to the realization and acceptance that nothing they have done has ever been in wrongdoing. I don't know how it happened, but we have come to accept ourselves as living while suffering deeply in our hell.
Criticizing thoughts through out the day of the ways we should have done something different, the better ideas you could have used, the messed up actions and behaviors we've exhibited.
We tend to be a foot ahead of ourselves at all times. Planning. Thinking. Analyzing.
Let it go. Stop figuring things out. Stop categorizing, Labeling, and defining that which you experience /do by the "good or bad" beliefs. That can be dropped. I found my breakthrough moment was when I stopped thinking of what I need to change or what I would like to be and switched to focus my wishes/manifestations/desires/affirmations on ONE thing. I just want to be happy.
No more manifesting money. No more manifesting career success. No more manifesting anything other simply being happy. And that's all I truly wanted in my heart. FINALLY.
Being stripped of the reliance upon those things was painfully scary, and brings with it great feelings of your sense of worth and self-love. So when lost. This attachment of who you are and what makes you, YOU is broken as you learn there is nothing to do but just be and take the next indicated step.
I left my job. I left my company and all belongings to travel. And I knew it was the right thing to do. The only thing that made it difficult was the worrying of others disapproval for it. My parents mostly, but also friends who had shared their concerns with me.
They did all this out of Love, as all things are done we eventually see. But it was for me to learn. It was for me to take the step on Faith and jump. It was for me to live the freedom without money worry, work schedule or needs, and not having anyone else's input on where to go.
It was freedom. I felt free mostly with the letting go of my idea of money being needed in my future. I had faith, complete faith in that. And I still do. Although upon return and my public crash and burn of drinking heavy and substance abuse was surfacing for all to see.
For me to address and be with finally. Which realizing I only ever thought and worried of what others would think of this. Not really asking what I think of this. The truth was, I wanted to do it. I just wanted to do it because it made me feel good.
So I started taking that stance, that I will do what I want which makes me feel good or makes me happy. That allowed the freedom necessary coupled with the only desire in being happy - for me to finally separate myself from this attachment of right and wrong. And doing, acting, or changing what I am or who I am for anyone else's perceptions or concerns.
It was so powerful. It was beautiful and really brought a great sense of confidence which was missing in myself.
The drugs and alcohol - being the HUGE "wrong" in my life. The "bad" thing I could do. Was no longer Bad or Wrong. It just simply was because I wanted it happy. It being my needing beliefs of not being OKAY as I am in the present moment.
An escape from the place of my own blessed gift to be standing and perceiving. Not knowing true happiness though came with a cost. As it should not be labeled to divide the idea that this feeling and emotion is better then the feeling of loss or fear.
For all the same. All are the exact same thing. Same essence. Same truth. Same vibration. Same everything.
The only difference is the perception held and our beliefs around which we hold standards and labeling of good or bad.
It's the duality of it that allows the appreciation of it. It's the duality which allows the awareness. No way to think you've missed the shot or your time is lost on focus being one way when it should have been the other. That in itself is continuing the right and wrong.
There lies the toughness of the journey. It can be a vicious cycle and repeat until the person gives in to consensus beliefs around them. OR they get stuck and just lose the drive for forward motion in the present.
It's a symptom we see when this happens in Body and Spirit - that we have come to label by different names "alzheimers" / "dementia". Although thinking they are an illness which is of random proportions that our mind can just do to us is a grave injustice.
It's the Spirit's giving up the wheel and balancing act. It's a true mystery in our eyes, and painful on the loved ones left here to try and manage care and love.
Learn to love the painful in life. Learn to love the scary. Learn to not accept the things that are not your own. Is your beliefs yours? Or is it your moms? Is the way you deal with emotions your own ways, or a design of others?
Who's running the show in your mind? Is it you or is it me? Who is here with you now? Where are you? You in your body right now, or you out somewhere else dreaming.
Is there defined belief in the knowing of what you are. Who you are? Are you here. Or are you in front of yourself. Are you following in the back? Maybe besides yourself.
Don't fucking dwell on it. Just be. Right there. Right now. Because here i Come. The One. The One with the body. The one with the Home. The One with the Earth and the Kingdom. To separate these while here is to miss the entire TRUTH of it all. Not a wrong, just a besides yourself. For as you read this, you have already typed it. Or maybe written it. Actually it could have been spoken. Or thought.
It was you. It was not me. I was here with you. The whole time. And I think your thoughts are great pure. Do not tend to walk from them. You shall be amazed at the knowing intuition you have, Once empowered ...Or REpowered - one is amazed at what they sought was there.
Easier said then done. Don't be mad at yourself. Love yourself. Give yourself the attention you give to your outside world. To the girls. To the boys. To the money and the news. Point that shit back in. And boom! There's your answer and teacher. There's the messiah. There he is. Or she. Whichever you gravitate to. Thank you for playing the game and being a part of the awesome learning and group effort. We will be calling.
. What others will think of this substance abuse, of my drinking. After years of sobriety and putting immense weight on the importance of sobriety. My feelings of love.
Seeding a Reality: Talks of Life and Meaning
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